


The One Where They Fall In Love

by stardustsroses



Series: The One Where They Fall In Love [1]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: ACOTAR - Freeform, ACOWAR, Angst, Elriel, F/M, Fluff, Post-ACOWAR, The Seer - Freeform, acomaf, the shadowsinger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-23 06:59:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14929421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustsroses/pseuds/stardustsroses
Summary: A seven-part story that takes a closer look at the little, yet significant moments that led to Elain and Azriel falling in love with each other after the war with Hybern. / post-acowar /





	1. The One Where They Smile at Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She would never turn to him.
> 
> Never smile at him.
> 
> And yet one day-
> 
> One night she did.

Elain

She always seemed to secretly watch him with that gentle curiosity of hers.

And Elain found that she could not look away most times. They were like magnets. Pushing and pulling and fighting each other without any hope of being able to stay apart.

At least – that’s how it was for her.

Was it the same for him?

Elain would often wonder to herself, as her eyes traced the sharp contours of his jaw, if he ever noticed it. Her stare. Her fascination. He would turn one way or the other and the sun rays would caress the inside of those dark satin-like wings, almost giving a slight sheen to the thin veins drawn across them.

Constellations, Elain would think. Those wings looked like constellations.

She wanted to trace them.

Feel the soft patterns and salient scars under the gentle press of her lips and fingertips.

She wanted to memorize them.

She wanted to know their story; how many battles they saw, how many different skies they met, how many miles they flew and she wanted to know-

Elain wanted to know where those wings intended to fly next.

She wanted to know if there was the smallest chance of her being their final destination.

It was foolish to hope. The sensible, reasonable part of her told her that every single day, every single time he came into view. Yes. Yes. Very foolish, indeed.

So she would look away. She would force a smile to grow on her face as people gathered around her. She would nod and speak when spoken to. She would pretend the loneliness did not blow at her heart, like a harsh, winter wind threatening to break a daffodil’s fragile stem. She would not dare to think or hope or dream.

And yet her heart dared. It hoped and it dreamt all the time. 

It wished for many things.

A look.

A touch.

A smile.

Impossible things. Things she had told herself, countless times before, countless nights before, that she did not want, did not need. Because before – before, her heart had been faithful to another. Before, her heart had been a strong daffodil with bright, yellow petals gracefully opened to the rays of sunshine. 

But then night struck.

And all her petals had closed. 

And her stem had broken and cracked.

Her heart had changed.

Was it the same for him?

Sometimes she would dare to look at him from across the room and think yes, yes, it had to be the same for him because she could not feel all of that on her own, not that amount of feeling, that mixture of both dread and happiness, of excitement and fear, of wanting to safely keep her toes on the green grasses and the next moment wanting them dangling from the highest of cliffs.

Most times she would dare to look at him from across the room and she would think, Beautiful. He might be the most beautiful thing she ever did see – and yet.

And yet he was near-unreadable.

What are you thinking? What’s going through your mind?

And despite her best efforts, Elain would always find herself silently asking, begging, wishing that it was her – the one keeping him awake at night, the one his thoughts drifted to whenever she was not around, the one who he smiled at.

Was it the same for him?

Could it be?

Or maybe she was hoping too much, dreaming too loud. Maybe he did not feel the same weight in his chest when she came into view.

Maybe she was never meant for him.

Everything, everyone, seemed to tell her exactly that.

You are not meant for each other.

So there was only wishing and dreaming left for her.

And yet one petal seemed to still stand. One petal seemed to have been able to withstand the storm and the night. One petal still opened up to hope. One last petal that seemed to glow when she heard his name being called that night.

Azriel.

***

Azriel

It was wrong.

He knew it. Yes, he knew it.

He should’ve shoved it out of his mind as soon as the shadows started recoiling at her presence.

But the thought of her, the scent of her, the big eyes that crinkled at the corners accompanied by her smiles were undoing him completely. Day by day, he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders slowly lift and then one day it just- oh, there it went, away and away, it disappeared completely, leaving no trace behind, no pressure on his body, on his mind.

Nothing but peacefulness. Calmness.

Gentle shadows.

Warm starlight.

He should’ve shoved it out of his mind.

Not yours. Not yours. She can’t be yours. Never yours.

She would never meet his eyes whenever they were on her.

It seemed her attention was always elsewhere, far off from the room where they both stood surrounded by their family, their friends. He couldn’t say he wasn’t glad.

He thought that he would never want her to see the longing, the want, the loneliness, in his own eyes.

Not yours.

Maybe he’d imagined the way her scent changed that one time when their eyes had accidently met during dinner. Maybe he’d been flattering himself that night by wondering whether the rose-tint on her cheeks was his doing or the wine’s. Maybe he’d been vain enough, idiotic enough, to believe the possibility of him having any kind of effect on her. The way she swallowed, hard and tight, the way she glanced down at her plate, urgent and startled, the way her hands folded on her lap, twitching and knuckles white.

Dangerous. Dangerous thoughts. 

And despite that-

Look at me, he’d beg her silently. Smile for me.

Not yours.

Never yours.

She would always smile at the people around her, even if the smile didn’t reach her eyes.

Didn’t anybody notice how it did not reach her eyes?

Didn’t anybody notice how forced that smile was?

Didn’t anybody notice how different it was from her real smile?

He would always urge his feet to stay where they were. Far away from her. Against every instinct, every need – he would always remain far, far from her.

Still, she would smile.

And the shadows would recoil.

And she would not know.

She would never know.

Oh, if only she knew.

And she would smile.

Not at him, though.

Never at him.

Azriel would always find himself silently asking, begging, wishing that it was him driving those shadows away from her eyes. Turning that smile into something real.

She would never smile at him; not the way he wanted her to.

How could he push away her shadows when he, himself, was made of them?

She would never turn to him.

Never smile at him.

And yet one day-

One night-

His heart stopped when he walked into that balcony.

He felt every bit of him soften, the harsh parts of him pestered with harsh memories and harsh bruises became molten lava, as his eyes travelled over her loose hair, curled gently from the top to the tips, as his eyes watched her back, the way her pale pink dress fitted perfectly.

His heart stopped when he walked into that balcony and found her. And it dropped all the way down to his stomach when Elain turned her face to look over her shoulder.

At him.

The shadows recoil. Gentle now. They’re gentle now.

And warm starlight.

Above and around them – warmth and comfort and peace.

She would never smile at him.

And yet that night-

That night she did.

That night she whispered, “Azriel.”

Spoke his name the same way she tended to her flowers. Like something to be protected. Something to be cherished.

Something to be loved.

She would never turn to him.

And yet that night-

That night she did.

The ends of her dress swished as she turned her body to face him. Her hands clasped the railing behind her. He felt her scent change, the air between them change.

Not yours.

But the way she repeated his name said otherwise. “Azriel.”

And Azriel wondered if the entirety of what he felt for her could fit inside him, could fit inside this small universe. If what he felt for her didn’t surpass the size of a universe that embraced millions, billions, trillions of stars.

Beyond reason.

He loved her beyond reason.

And the way he said her name said exactly that. “Elain.”

He waited. A star fell behind her. A hundred more stars followed. Then a thousand. And a thousand more after.

He waited.

That night she smiled at him.

Azriel almost fell to his knees right then and there.

Beyond reason. Beyond anything he had ever known.

She smiled at him.

And Azriel smiled right back as he took that one step towards Elain.


	2. The One Where They Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dancing - Elain always loved dancing. 
> 
> As a little girl, she used to spin and spin and spin around in her gowns in the old, big parlor. She used to dance until she was dizzy. She used to dance until she felt like she was floating. She used to dance until she felt like she could fly and touch the stars above.
> 
> And dancing with him - dancing with him, felt exactly like that;
> 
> Like touching the stars.

Elain

“Azriel.”

He walked slowly, with more than a hundred years’ worth of gracefulness towards her.

She was holding her breath, she realized.

He was holding her heart, though he did not realize.

Azriel spoke the words as if they were only meant for her, “Do you wish to be alone? Or may I join you?”

Elain conjured a smile and turned to the darkened horizon in front of her, elbows resting on the balcony rail. “I would very much like your company, Azriel.”

He settled beside her.

And Elain briefly wondered how it would feel to take a step towards him and wrap herself in the warmth of his body, his wings.

He wore a simple back jacket and fitted trousers, his usual tousled hair neatly combed back, though some waves of rich brown fell onto his forehead.

Elain wanted to pull them back from his face. It was a crime that those eyes were hidden from her.

“How are you, Elain?”

Nobody asked how she was.

Not anymore.

The words were always the same: “How are you holding up?”

How was she holding up – after the war, they meant. After her powers. After…after everything.

But never how she was.

Slightly surprised, Elain turned her head to him. She murmured, “I’m…”

She stopped herself.

Lies were easy to tell to people who easily accepted them. But she knew Azriel would not. He saw her. She knew he did. He saw everything behind the mask, behind the smiles and the glinting eyes – he saw the truth. And forming that lie on her throat almost made her choke on it.

She could not lie to him, for some strange, inexplicable reason.

Her voice betrayed her so she stayed silent.

And Azriel murmured, “I understand.”

Of course he did.

Elain looked at her hands on the railing, the paleness of them – a stark contrast to his. “Azriel,” she said quietly. “May I ask you something?”

His breath hitched. He said, “Anything.”

“How do you learn to cope?”

Azriel did not answer for a long time, and Elain thought that maybe he was looking for the right words but-

But after a pause she looked towards him, and he was looking at her. Not with confusion, or surprise, or doubt, or pity. With understanding. With compassion. With tenderness.

She could not look away.

“When you have lived as long as I have,” he started, his voice rough around the edges but still soft, still so characteristically his, “you start to realize that the guilt and the fear – it dissolves into nothing when you see your family alive and happy and safe.”

A pause as he looked over his shoulder to the open balcony doors, towards the House of Wind, where his family chatted and laughed and drank inside. Alive and happy and safe.

Azriel said, “You realize that the pain is worth it. For them.”

“Is it worth it for you?”

Azriel looked at her. Their shoulders brushed. Elain’s skin tingled under her dress. “It will always be worth it if I get to see them like this.”

Elain saw the stars reflected in his eyes as she whispered, “And what about the scars left behind?”

Azriel smiled gently. “A triumph, Elain. Proof that I survived. That we all survived.”

But Elain wasn’t thinking about physical scars. Those always faded. Always ended up being nothing more than scratches on skin.

Mental scars, however…

Those did not fade away so quickly. Some stayed. Some grew with you in the back of your mind, fuelled by your fears and doubts and nightmares. Some were made stronger by time, and not weakened like everybody else claimed they would.

Maybe her scars were like that.

Maybe her scars were the broken pieces of a shining glass that was once perfectly intact, untouched. Maybe they were weeds that grew and grew until they left no space at all for the smaller flowers, until they cut away all the healing sunshine and alleviating rain.

“Sometimes,” she said lowly, not trusting her trembling voice. “Sometimes I smell blood when there is none.”

He stayed silent, staring, letting her continue. Elain looked away.

“I feel the knife twisting on his neck. I see green grass painted red. I see your face covered in blood.”

“Elain.”

“Sometimes I feel like I could shatter,” she managed to let out. “And my hands are too bruised and bloody to pick up the pieces.”

“I will pick them up.”

***

Azriel

Brown eyes are never supposed to look that colourless, Azriel thought.

Her eyes – the most beautiful shade he had ever seen – always so alive, so warm, so rich…they were never supposed to become depthless. Broken.

It broke him.

It shattered him.

That hollowness in her eyes was the same in his very own heart, as Azriel stared at her, as she said the words, as her voice trembled.

So he’d blurted out the words, “I will pick them up.”

And Elain had stared at him suddenly, blinking back fresh tears, full lips parting.

His heart was racing then, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. But he thought-

He thought he’d never said something more real in his life. He thought he’d never meant something so much like those few words.

You have to know that.

She had to know. She had to realize what he-

What he felt. What he thought of her. After all these months beside her…Elain had to know.

Broken or intact – she was the only thing he was certain about.

The only one.

And so he swallowed the doubt. He pushed away the fear. And Azriel said, “I will pick them up. I will pick every single piece, one by one, and I promise you, Elain, I promise you, that you will heal and you will get through this. You do not need anybody to lift you up, no. But you will always find a helping hand in me. A friend, if you ever wish for it.”

The word cut through him like a blade.

But that is what they were. Right?

Right?

Elain stared at him for a long time. Azriel felt like he’d lost his last breath.

His body was hot all over as she turned hers to him, as she faced him fully. As Elain stared at his scarred hand, so close to hers on the railing.

Azriel could see every bit of strength in her eyes. This female – no, this woman…

He would become pathetic enough to sink to his knees and beg her for even a scrap of her love.

He would become the thing he hated most – selfish. He would ask her to ignore it, that bond that connected her to another male, and choose him, because Azriel-

He would do anything. Be anything for her: a friend, a lover, a companion.

“I have not thanked you once,” she murmured.

“You do not need to.”

“I do,” she said. “Thank you, Azriel.”

Azriel lowered his eyes.

But then he felt soft, warm fingers underneath his chin, lifting his face. 

Her touch was soothing, like warm water after a heavy training session, like a cool breeze after a long, hot summer day.

Elain looked at him in the eyes. She said, “Don’t do that. Don’t…turn away from me. Don’t feel like you’re not worthy of the words, Azriel.”

He felt cold when she lowered her hand. “I did nothing, Elain.”

“You were with me through every struggle these past few months,” she said. “You reached me in ways nobody else could. Not even my sisters. You see me,” Elain continued. “You see me like nobody else does.”

“And you see me,” he whispers.

“I do,” she says.

Music floated out of the double doors into the balcony. Gentle piano melodies that set the mood for the rest of the night. They looked inside. Azriel wondered if they were missed, if his brothers knew that he was here.

He imagined that they did. It was not difficult to guess.

Elain had been his company most days.

“Will you dance with me, Elain?”

And there – there it was.

The smile he knew as hers. The smile beneath the pain. The real one.

As bright as any star. Brighter.

“I would be happy to, Azriel.”

They touched hands.

And Azriel pulled her into his arms.

Elain was smaller, much smaller than him, and she fit him perfectly. His arm around her waist felt right. His hand on hers, their fingers entwined, felt right. Her hands on him, one of hers resting on his shoulder and the other squeezing his felt right.

Her body against his felt right.

Meant to be.

The stars could not tell him that they didn’t belong together.

The stars were wrong.

They swayed gently with the music.

And they danced.

And the stars couldn’t tell them that the way their hearts echoed each other’s beats was wrong.

The stars were wrong.

***

Elain

Dancing - Elain always loved dancing. 

As a little girl, she used to spin and spin and spin around in her gowns in the old, big parlor. She used to dance until she was dizzy. She used to dance until she felt like she was floating. She used to dance until she felt like she could fly and touch the stars above.

And dancing with him - dancing with him, felt exactly like that;

Like touching the stars.

She was daring, challenging everything by doing it. But Elain could not help it.

She rested her head on his chest and let Azriel pull her against him.

An embrace – but not one that two friends might have.

She hadn’t failed to notice the shadows in his eyes when he’d said the word. Like he’d regret it the second it had left his mouth.

She sighed in relief, in happiness and joy, in pure, unending joy as Azriel rested his chin on top of her head.

This, she thought, this was lifting a hand and knowing she could touch the sky if she so wished. This – this was the whole world in the palm of her hands, the whole universe closer than an arm’s reach.

Two stars in his eyes that blinked and shined down at her as he pulled away to look at her.

His mouth opened and closed, and she saw the conflict inside him.

Elain simply shook her head at him – a conversation for another time. Azriel understood. He always understood.

And so he pulled her close, so impossibly close, and they danced.

They danced undisturbed, for minutes or hours or days – Elain felt like she couldn’t have detected the passage of time even she had wanted to be aware. They danced, and Elain felt the sound of his heartbeat against her.

This.

This was the whole universe and its stars. Everything that mattered in her arms.

Azriel. Azriel. Azriel.

“Elain.”

She’d said his name, she suddenly realized.

Elain looked up. They had stopped dancing.

Azriel smiled, and gestured to her. “Look up.”

Their hands still touched, his wings curled around her frame as if sheltering her. And Elain looked up.

To the river of stars that flowed in the sky.

Shooting stars, a million of them. They danced and played and collided with each other up above, a show put on just for them both, for she felt they were the only two people on this earth.

“Starfall,” Azriel said. “It has started.”

She looked at him. His eyes reflected the blue and green and blinding white up above.

He was everything.

“Azriel,” she whispered.

“Elain,” he whispered back.

She smiled, chosing her words carefully. Traced his jaw with her eyes and his lips and his chest, avoiding his stare as heat bloomed in her cheeks.

“Elain?” He inquired softly, thumb gently caressing the soft skin of her hand.

“Friends?” She asked simply.

Azriel’s eyes flashed. And Elain was practically trembling as a smile, more beautiful than the starlit sky above them, spread itself on his lips.

He said, “I should have chosen a better word.”

She found it delightful that his own cheeks were rosy.

“What other word can we use?” She asked, but this time – this time she looked into his eyes.

Azriel parted his lips. He opened his mouth to say-

And then their family was around them, hugging, cheering, clinking drinks and looking up into the sky.

“Happy Starfall,” Azriel said to her, licking his lips.

Elain’s heart was beating in her throat. “Happy Starfall, Azriel.”

Her sisters took her in their arms and his brothers enveloped him in theirs. Festivities continued, and Elain chatted happily away with everybody, wishing them a happy night.

It was a while until they found each other again.

And when they did, Azriel leaned his shoulder against her discreetly – another conversation for another time, then.

His smile was beautiful. He pointed to a star, flying so close to them, approaching. “Make a wish.”

“A wish?” Elain asked, an eyebrow raised.

“You wish on a shooting star,” Azriel said to her, leaning in to speak to her over the noise. “And your wish is bound to come true.”

“You wish on stars?” Elain smiled. “I have never heard of such a thing.”

“Would you like to try?”

Her cheeks hurt from smiling. How different she felt now, in his presence. How light-hearted. “I would.”

Azriel leaned into her ear.

Elain’s eyes fluttered closed as she felt his breath touch the tip of her ear. “Pick a star.”

She opened her eyes and craned her neck to look between the hundred thousand stars shooting over her. “That one.”

“Now make a wish,” he told her. “But don’t tell me, don’t tell anyone – keep it to yourself.”

She did.

Elain wished.

She wished to dance for the rest of her life the way she danced that night.

She wished for more stars.

She wished for him.

She wished for them both.

And she wished for a forever filled with his smiles.

“You did it?” He asked.

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Look up.”

She did.

Elain looked up to see that same star fly right over her eyes, colliding with another far beyond their balcony rail. An explosion of brightness and blinding starlight filled her vision. She’d never seen anything like it-

Elain wrapped an arm around Azriel’s, entwined her fingers with his, their palms fitting together as if they had been made from the same stardust.

“Dance with me again?” She whispered.

Azriel swept her up in his arms, twirling her. His hands on her waist lifted her, making her giggle, making her erase any thoughts of blood and nightmares and pain.

There was no pain.

Only brightness.

Only happiness.

Only him.

“I will dance with you, Elain Archeron,” he whispered against her cheek. “For as long as you want me.”

Their friends danced together, bonded by the joy that followed a hard-won life. They rejoiced in it.

Elain felt like part of her dream had already come true as she said, “Be prepared to dance for the rest of your life.”

Azriel touched his forehead to hers as they swayed. He embraced her and starlight embraced them. “It would be a gift, Elain. A gift.”

He pulled her close.

And for the rest of the night, they danced.

And for the rest of the night, Elain wished they would have this for the rest of their lives.

And for the rest of the night…

They touched the stars.


	3. The One Where They Miss Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was missing two hearts.
> 
> Hers – and his, which he always left behind.
> 
> With her. Always with her.

Azriel

There was always agony in waiting.

But this was different – this was a whole new level of painful.

He’d never felt anything remotely close to it, not even when his own brother had held him down and burned his hands, not when he’d been abandoned, not when he’d felt lost in the world without a single merciful star to guide him home.

There was a torturous, anguished sort of ache inside his chest where his heart lay solemn and lonely, almost not beating at all.

He’d been gone for six and a half days, eight hours and counting without seeing her, touching her, talking to her. Duty required it – the need to assure peace between the courts with his brothers and sisters. But Azriel would’ve gladly admitted how selfish he was for that single moment, that lonely second, where he’d desperately wanted to leave it all to them just so he could be with her.

Friends.

Yes, they were friends. Azriel wanted to be her closest friend – the one Elain turned to whenever she needed, whenever she couldn’t deal with her own pain and nightmares; the first one she turned to whenever there was something exciting to talk about, the first one she turned to whenever she wanted to be held and cherished and loved. He wanted to keep being that person for her.

He’d refrained from wanting more for so long now. He’d made a vow to himself to never cross that line that separated his feelings from Elain as he knew her – the friend, the one that he’d started to lean on, although unconsciously, those past few months. But the months they’d spent side by side, healing in each other’s presence…it had weighed on his heart. Whether he liked it or not.

Whether he’d wanted it to or not - his heart was open for the first time in centuries. 

Azriel had not felt this, not to this magnitude. He didn’t remember feeling this way for Mor, either. Mor, who had long since lost her place in the darkest parts of his mind, the parts that craved something else other than friendship. The parts that now belonged solemnly to Elain.

And he didn’t understand how a single person could feel so much for another. How so much love could fit inside his heart whenever he looked at her.

Elain.

Elain.

His heart sang her name in the darkest of nights.

Sometimes he felt ashamed at what the midnight-kissed whispers of her name going around in his mind provoked in him. And his body’s reaction to those whispers. Sometimes he felt ashamed at the panic that erupted inside him, just at the thought that his name might not be the one keeping her awake.

Elain still had a mate.

She did not want him, she’d told him once. She did not want Lucien, or a mating bond, or someone chosen for her. Elain had raised her chin high and dropped her gardening gloves onto the wet earth as she’d said it, that Archeron fire coming to the surface as her dark brown eyes blinked down at him.

Sometimes he felt ashamed at how glad he was when she’d said the words.

But Elain could change her mind.

And Azriel knew that if she did, if she did not look at him like she had the night of Starfall, he would shatter. Silently, of course – he’d pick up the pieces in silence, never wanting to let her know his own pain. If Elain did not chose him, Azriel would have to learn to live with it.

He told himself that he’d survived it once. Heartbreak. And so, if he had to, he’d do it again.

It felt so different this time, though. So, so different. Somehow he felt as if he had a lot more to lose, a lot more to risk. Being around Elain felt like sitting at the edge of a cliff, looking down at the deathly drop below without an ounce of fear – because she was there, sitting right next to him. But if she decided to get up and leave, dust her legs off the memories of both of them from those few months like they were flecks of dirt, leaving him to the risk of falling alone…

Azriel would have to live with it.

He’d learn to live with it, he repeated to himself.

Somehow.

Someway.

He’d survive the fall.

But what if she’s already fallen with you?

During Starfall, he remembered feeling as if he’d been soaring, floating instead of falling. He remembered the way she’d looked up at him and smiled, so wide and perfect and beautiful, her true smile, the one she always wore with him, the one that held back no secrets and hid no emotions. He remembered the way her hands had wrapped around his waist and the way she’d laid her head on top of his chest, her little sigh when he kissed her forehead-

Saints and their mothers above.

He missed her. Gods, he missed her so much.

He almost wanted to look up at the skies and ask why. Why make him feel this way and not bless them both with a mating bond of their own. Why they felt so right for each other, and yet the gods hadn’t chosen them. Why. Why.

Why he felt like he’d lost a part of himself in those last few days.

He missed her heart.

How genuine it always was. How good. She was so good. 

In fact-

He was missing two hearts.

Hers – and his, which he always left behind.

With her. Always with her.

That night, Azriel had looked at the night sky, and missed home dearly.

And he thought that he could not wait to go back to it – to her.

***

Elain

Elain felt reckless.

Not the good kind of reckless.

Not the kind of reckless that makes you excited about the possible outcome.

But the kind that leaves you breathless and shaking, hands clammy and knees wobbly. The kind that has you pacing around your room, biting your nails and not able to stand still for a second.

Elain had made a decision.

And part of her had no doubts that it had been the right choice to make, the right path to follow. The bigger part of her, that is, insisted that there was no way it would go wrong. There was no possibility of it going wrong.

And yet.

And yet.

She could not help the air escaping her lungs, could not grip her hands tight enough so they would not shake, could not wipe her palms on her dress fast enough for them not to feel clammy, and Elain felt like she was sitting down and getting up and sitting down and getting up, repeating it and repeating it, until she could no longer stand her room.

Truthfully, she liked her chances.

That was the thing about chances, right? You take them and expect the outcome to be a positive one.

But that’s not always so.

She could always lose. And this case…in this case, Elain would lose everything if things turned out to be less than good.

But she could not be wrong. Could she? After everything they shared?

The truth was that her heart had been so full those past few months. So incredibly full. The way it hadn’t been for years.

She thought her life had ended the second she slipped out of that cauldron, its waters clinging to her like sludge. When immortality had dawned upon her like a red sunrise, a promise of a scarlet-tainted future filled with nothing but pain and war and loneliness. And a feeling of not belonging.

But Elain felt as if she belonged with him.

She could not remember the taste of those waters burning her throat, drowning her lungs, whenever she felt the warmth of those wings next to her. Elain felt as if there was no dark rain skies, only blue cloudless ones whenever he sat by her in the garden of the Townhouse Feyre had generously gifted her. Even though Elain still spent a lot of time at the House of Wind, not being able to bear the loneliness of an empty house just for her, the silence embedded in the walls and inside her bedroom, it was still pleasant to have a place she could call her own. And though she had been taken aback by it at first, Elain had been immensely grateful to Feyre for the wonderful thought.

Azriel often stopped by, whenever duty did not call for him.

It had become a sort of routine they had both created, sitting by her garden, talking for hours about anything and everything. It had eased her mind. And, for Azriel, it might’ve been the same. He appeared as if he genuinely enjoyed her company. And he never looked at her with remorse or pity. 

Elain knew the others meant well. Feyre meant well. But the way her sister had looked at her and, often times, treated her – like she was nothing but a child to be taken care of and nursed back to health after a bad fall -, it had made her shatter a little. Made her feel less capable, in a way.

But not with Azriel.

No, he made her feel strong. He looked upon her with admiration shining in his eyes. He looked at her as an equal – someone just as strong as him.

And so they had talked.

One afternoon, though, when the sun was low in the sky and the stars were beginning to kiss the day goodbye, Elain had asked him:

“Why do you come here, Azriel?”

It had been a soft question from her, as Elain hugged her knees to her chest. A curious one that had made a smile spark in his handsome face.

“Do you not want me here anymore?” He’d joked, the hazel eyes gleaming in the last remains of sunlight. As he’d said the words, Azriel had run his fingers through his short hair, the dark locks shining with deeper browns and lighter tones, and Elain had believed him to be the most beautiful male she ever did see. In every way.

“You know that is not what I mean,” she’d responded, smiling, but curious all the same.

His hands were behind him as they’d both sat on the grass. Azriel had stared at the tulips in her garden, eyebrows slightly furrowed and smile softening. After a pause, he’d said, “You calm me, Elain.”

The words had taken root inside her chest. The way his eyes had crinkled as he said them, the easy manner in which he held himself with her. The shadows had swirled around his fingers, playing with the grass and entwining with the golden light of the afternoon.

She’d watched them.

And without thinking, Elain had placed a hand on top of his. And the shadows hadn’t ceased to exist but rather…calmed down. They turned hazier, smoother, less sharp, less dark. His touch was warm and his shadows were too. As if they were an extension of himself.

And then Azriel had stared at her. Elain was too interested in the way his shadows had lifted from his fingers and wrapped around her wrist to really notice the way his gaze had changed, how his face had softened. The dark grey clouds had entwined in her arm like vines. Up and up they went, caressing her skin. His hand had shaken slightly underneath hers, and when Elain looked up she saw the apprehension in his eyes – that had never happened before. It was probable that it shouldn’t have happened.

But still, she smiled and, surprising even herself, Elain laughed.

She chuckled as his shadows danced around her as if they were indeed a living thing and responded to her, knew her.

And suddenly Azriel wasn’t apprehensive anymore, but smiling with her, bright and wide and slightly relieved and so, so beautiful.

With a moment’s pause, Elain’s thumb had caressed the back of his hand before she said, “You calm me too, Azriel.”

That afternoon, Azriel had wrapped one dark, comforting wing around her. And Elain had rested her head on his shoulder, twirling a daisy in her fingers, watching with delight as he waved a finger around, shadows dancing around her and her flower – a performance. Just for her.

Just for her.

Elain had closed her eyes when she’d felt his cheek against the top of her head, her hand coming to grasp his, slowly, tentatively.

When she’d felt him smile, Elain’s palm had slid against his, fingers entwining.

And there they had stayed for most of the night.

It hadn’t been a mistake, Elain thought. She’d felt it – and Azriel had to feel it too.

At least she hoped to the gods that he did. Or else she would indeed lose everything after that night.

It’s not a mistake, she’d told herself as she moved downstairs.

I can’t be.

As she looked out the window into the starry night, Elain imagined dark wings flying through the skies, shooting through the puffy white clouds to greet her here. She imagined Azriel coming through her door, seeing her, and taking her face in his hands.

She imagined his lips tasted like the sweet night air during summer. She imagined him parting her mouth and tasting her. She imagined his hands claiming her, like she wanted to claim him.

With heated cheeks, Elain stepped away from the window and took a deep breath. They were supposed to arrive soon, and so, it was time to prepare everything.

She hoped it would convey everything she felt.

She hoped it would tell him how much she missed him and needed him.

She hoped.

And wished as a shooting star painted the sky right in front of her that she was not wrong.

***

Azriel

The cool night air kissed his wings.

And somehow Azriel felt boiling hot with anticipation.

As they flew to the Night Court, he felt like he could regain little bits of himself again. As he began to recognize the streets down below, the twinkling lights and colourful townhouses, Azriel felt whole again.

He was home.

And still – not quite there yet.

Feyre had told him to join them at the House of Wind before they took flight.

“For a welcoming gift,” she’d smiled at him. “We’re all going to be there.”

And for a moment, the word all had sent his heart spinning. Each one of them knew why. His brothers had teased him relentlessly, with Rhys smirking and Cassian winking at him, blowing annoying kisses at the air in Azriel’s direction, and even Feyre had joined in on the fun, but there was a look in his sister’s eyes that told him she was holding something back on purpose, something he was only supposed to find out when they arrived home.

When they landed, the House of Wind held a faint remain of her scent.

He’d looked at Feyre then, confused and slightly disappointed, and the High Lady had simply mouthed to him, “Your bedroom.”

If he was confused before – he had been utterly confused then. It wasn’t like Elain – waiting in his room while everybody else was downstairs? She couldn’t be there, it had to be something else.

But still, after Azriel had chatted with his family and shared the news of their new alliances, he’d politely excused himself and walked up the stairs to his old bedroom.

Her scent there was stronger, and Azriel almost parted his lips and inhaled deep – only to notice a note on his bed.

His heart raced as he picked it up.

And his whole world seemed to burst with incredibly beautiful colours as he read it:

For the male who taught me to wish on shooting stars,

Who never let me fall on my own,

Who was there, every step of the way,

Who had the words, even when I did not:

I have words of my own now. I can speak them now.

I wish for you to hear them.

You know where to find me.

\- Yours,

Elain.

He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t.

Couldn’t think of anything else besides those words.

Every doubt, every bad thought he’d had the last few days-

Erased.

Out of his mind, out of his system, out of his heart.

He now thought of nothing but her as Azriel climbed out the window and spread his wings to the night chill once more. Afterwards, mainly days later, he would remember that he’d left without saying a word to his family, but in that moment, it hadn’t even crossed his head.

He dove through the city, heart racing in his chest, a delirious, hopeful smile in his face.

And as he landed with ease on her back garden, the stars seemed to smile at him, too, as they watched.

Her back was turned to him, and Elain was leaning against the wooden fence, looking out into the city, the faraway mountains – just like he’d seen her lean against the railing during Starfall. Her pale golden dress hugged her body close, the lace at the back thin and beautifully intricate. Her long sleeves went up to her fingers with swirly patterns across them. Even in gold, Azriel thought they looked like the swirls his shadows made.

His heart was whole again.

He realized he was still clutching the note when Elain looked over her shoulder to smile at him.

He was home again.

Her smile was shy, yet welcoming. Not reserved, but almost careful. Elain watched him come close to her, and Azriel felt like he was almost in a dream, enchanted by the way her loose hair gleamed in the starlight, and the twinkling lights she kept in her garden. As he stood beside her, like he had that night, Azriel knew that this was a moment from which they could never turn back.

He didn’t want to turn back.

“You got the note.”

“I did.”

She breathed in a soft laugh. Told him, “My heart feels as if it’s going to explode.”

He looked at her, really looked at her – at the smiling eyes and pink cheeks, those full cheeks he adored, and the dimple that kissed the left corner of her mouth. And he could only whisper, “So is mine.”

She turned to him.

And there – Azriel’s shadows turned hazy. They almost pushed back from him, leaving him without any armour. They faded away at those eyes looking up at him like they missed him, like they were so glad to see him, like they wanted nothing more than to stay on him.

And Elain murmured, “I missed you.”

Her scent – it was everywhere. He breathed her in, touched her hand, and entwined their fingers. He felt like breathing a sigh of relief at finally, finally feeling her touch after what seemed to be so long. Too long.

“And I you,” he told her gently, thumb grazing the top of her knuckles. “I missed you so much, Elain.”

She smiled.

And it was blinding.

Beautiful.

And it was home.

Comforting.

And it was everything he had ever hoped for.

His merciful star that guided him home.

That would always guide him home.

“Look at that,” Elain whispered, coming closer to him. Azriel felt his body react to her immediately, his fingers twitching to wrap around her waist, caress her skin, press her closer and closer and closer. Her eyes travelled all over him – at the leathers he still wore, his chin, his jaw, his mouth, his eyes, and then his wings. She smiled softly, her breath against his chin as she whispered to him, “No shadows.”

Azriel found himself whispering, “I don’t know where they went.”

Because he was drunk off her closeness, the warmth of her body so close to touch, to caress, he had no idea what he was saying. A deep, hidden and ancient instinct in him kicked in, a brutal sort of wanting that had him put a leash on himself in order to keep still and in check.

But Elain chuckled all the same, eyes bright, smile brighter.

He smiled right with her.

And Elain lifted a hand, and touched his cheek. So softly it pained him. She traced the contours of his smile and – saints. He couldn’t stop smiling. Not as her own smile widened as her thumb traced his jaw, his chin, just to stop at his cupid’s bow.

Her smile softened, becoming something else entirely.

And her eyes dropped lazily to his mouth.

Azriel felt her tugging at his leash as she came even closer, pressing their chests together. He breathed in sharply, the feel of her body against him too much.

Elain whispered, almost like a song, “Azriel.”

His name in her mouth made his knees buckle, made his wings flare behind him slightly.

Elain smiled wider as she caught that movement, as she caught that change in him. He wondered if she was getting as lost in him as he was getting lost in her.

Her thumb traced his bottom lip as he murmured back to her, “Elain.”

She said, so low, just so he and the stars above them watching could hear, “I want you to kiss me.”

His eyes fluttered closed, his hands came to rest at her hips as his forehead rested against hers. Elain yanked on that leash, setting him free. 

She whispered, “I want you to kiss me,” she told him again, leaning up on the tips of her toes to place a gentle kiss on his chin, letting her lips linger as she said, “So much.”

Azriel touched his lips to her thumb, and Elain parted her mouth at feeling his warmth against her skin. He kissed the tip of her finger, and then gently took it between his teeth.

It made her chuckle. 

He kissed it again, letting it go free. And then he was looking at her. Her warmth pressed against his. Starlight danced in her eyes.

And Azriel leaned down to kiss Elain.

When his lips touched hers he could still taste the smile on them, feel the happiness coursing through her veins and his, taste the sweet, the good and the bad, the sunshine and the rain, the darkness and the stars. The pain and the joy they had shared in those months together – it was all there. All there in that kiss alone.

It made him see stars inside him.

It made him burst with something he couldn’t quite describe.

Elain’s arms snaked around his shoulders to pull him closer and never let go. She kissed him with that same promise of never letting go. Ardently, sweetly, tenderly, passionately. Everything.

She tasted like spring and night.

Tasted like autumn and sunshine.

Like contradictions and beautiful, wonderful things.

Elain pulled away first.

Her hands slid down to the top of his chest, pausing right above his heart. And Azriel could not stop – he memorized her cheeks with his lips, and then her nose, then he kissed the laugh out of her lips, and tasted the cupid’s bow right above them, then felt her eyelashes fluttering when his lips kissed her eyelids, too.

“You,” he whispered to her. “Are everything.”

She was everything to him.

Elain pulled him down for another kiss.

He felt the shadows spring out from him, warm and satisfied, happy and delighted all at once, wrapping around them both.

Elain chuckled against his lips as Azriel pecked each corner of her mouth. “There they are,” she said, words slightly muffled by his own lips.

“Here they are,” Azriel smiled, lifting Elain off the ground.

Her squeal was also muffled by lips, as well as his name that she let out in a surprised, joyous sort of way.

Her arms were around his shoulders again, smiling down at him. “You,” she whispered to him, kissing the tip of his nose, “are the one.”

Azriel’s shadows danced and twirled around them, amongst the starlit night.

“Elain, I-“

“I have something for you,” she said suddenly. Her heart was racing against his chest.

With his arms around her and her feet off the ground, Azriel looked up at her with raised eyebrows, “What is it?”

“A gift,” she said smugly, touching his cheeks.

Azriel hummed, turning his face to kiss on of her palms. “And what gift might that be?”

Elain smiled, cheeks tainted pink. And Azriel couldn’t resist her. He leaned in, and let his teeth graze over her heated skin, nipping at her cheek gently. Elain laughed out loud, gently swatting at him. “Hey,” she exclaimed.

“Tell me.”

“Come inside with me and see.”

Azriel gentled her down, touching his lips to her brow. “You are already the greatest gift of all, Elain, my love.”

Her eyes sparkled. She leaned in and touched her lips to his. A thank you etched in that kiss.

Elain said, “Come inside with me.”

And touched his hand, leading him.

The townhouse was small. The entrance to the back garden led immediately to the kitchen - a room that was surrounded by glass windows that let all the sun – or starlight – in. It felt warm, so warm, and comforting to be here. Familiar.

Elain led him to the plush chairs of the kitchen table and sat him down.

She lit the candle.

And stepped back, watching him.

Azriel opened his mouth to ask but then-

There – in front of him.

He stared and stared, and heard Elain catch her breath, waiting for his reaction.

Azriel blinked.

And his heart thrummed at the plate of food prepared for him.


	4. The One Where They Challenge The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just her and him.
> 
> And a whole universe of stars that looked down on them, glimmering as if in disapproval.
> 
> But as far as Elain knew - the stars did not know a thing.
> 
> Not a thing.
> 
> And as she pulled him closer, the one she chose, the one her heart sang to, Elain did not care that they did not approve.
> 
> She dared them - dared those stars to try and tear her and Azriel apart. Dared anyone. Anything.
> 
> She would challenge them all. They - together - would challenge them all.

Elain

“Elain.”

She saw it all on his face.

The surprise, the shock, the hesitance at not knowing if the bowl of food placed in front of him meant what he was thinking. Then the wide eyes, the parting of his lips, the furrowing of his eyebrows as he looked up at her and took in the true meaning of that3 moment.

Elain smiled.

Her heart was in shambles, clenching and unclenching, pained and excited and nervous and probably delirious with want and love for him.

Azriel’s eyes blinked up at her.

Trying to think of the right words to say, Elain gentled herself down sideways onto his lap, touching his cheek. Parting her lips, she chose each one carefully:

“Feyre was telling me that there was a ritual, one for mated partners in your world,” she started, and then quickly shook her head, adding, “our world.” Elain breathed out, trying to relax her nerves. “The female usually cooks her male food, as a meaningful way to accept the mating bond. Is that right?”

Azriel was silent. His eyes – they were a waterfall of feelings, one feeling rushing out after the other as he watched her, so intently, his hands gently caressing her hips over her dress as if he couldn’t quite believe all of it was real.

“Yes,” he whispered the word.

Elain’s thumb gently caressed the skin of his jaw and cheek – simultaneously rough and soft – and, for just a fraction of a second, Elain let herself contemplate him before continuing, “She also told me that some Fae even make a celebration out of it, a big event. But you and I…we never needed such things.”

Azriel was touching her hand on his cheek now, caressing her knuckles. His smile was blinding. Quite frankly the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and Elain almost forgot that she was supposed to talk. To breathe.

Elain looked at the steaming bowl of food of roasted meat and vegetables. “And so, well…” she murmured to him, turning to look into those eyes – her whole world was in those eyes, “I believe that our bond is greater than any other magic in this world. Bigger than mating bonds, bigger than the stars that choose them. I choose you, Azriel, my light in the darkness,” Elain smiled, leaning down to place a tender kiss on his cheek as her heart swelled up with the words. “My love. If you’ll have me – then this is for you. All for you.”

Elain finished with a kiss on his mouth, just a brush of her lips against his, just as Azriel’s shadows seemed to envelop them both, just as he pushed her closer to his body, his eyes shining.

“This is for me?” He whispered in awe.

Elain smiled, nodding. She touched her forehead to his, “I don’t need a mating bond to love you, to want you in my life. I just need you.”

Azriel shook his head, as if gathering himself and his thoughts, and smiled up at her. Elain pulled away gently to look at him in the eyes as he said, “Elain,” he whispered in adoration. “Elain.” His lips touched hers in a flaming kiss, one that could create worlds and in the same moment destroy them all. One that could shake all the moons, all the planets, and the universes beyond their own. One that could set fire to the world they knew.

Azriel pulled away, and Elain gasped for air, her heart punching her ribcage painfully. He was smiling. He was so beautiful. He was the whole world and more. Azriel whispered, “I love you.”

And it was more than enough.

All that emotion in him was pushed onto those three little words; so simple, yet so meaningful. So brief, and yet the most wonderful words she ever heard.

“I love you,” she repeated back to him, raising her chin to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. “My world. My love.”

***

Azriel

No words.

There were no words.

For what Elain had done – what she had said. No words at all in his chest as he looked up into those brown eyes, the eyes he loved and adored.

Our bond is greater than any other magic in this world.

Bigger than the stars.

Azriel touched her cheeks. “You choose me,” he whispered. 

Elain’s cheeks were tinted pink as her eyes met his. “I choose you,” she told him, her fingers tangling gently in the dark locks of his hair, thumbs tracing the round outside of his ear. “You were there every step of the way. Helped me. Made me stronger. Made me feel again. You, Azriel – you pulled me out of the dark and brought me into the light.”

Azriel smiled. The shadows swirled around them, enveloping Elain in a gentle, midnight-kissed embrace. “I have darkness all around me, love,” Azriel said, eyes tracing the shadows.

Elain did the same, and then closed at her eyes when a phantom breeze caressed her cheek. “Even your darkness,” she whispered, opening her eyes and reaching out to caress one of his shadows right back, “is light.”

As if responding to her, the shadows trailed across her finger and up her arm – playful kisses on her skin. She smiled wider, and turned her eyes to Azriel again. “Yes, I choose you – your darkness and your light. Your smiles and your nightmares. Your dreams and fears. Everything you are, Azriel,” she kissed the tip of his nose, and rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes, embraced by that bright darkness, “is everything I have been searching for.”

He kissed her.

Like climbing the top of the highest mountain and watching over the world from a distance as if it belonged to you – that’s what it felt like. Like wrapping your finger around a cloud and feeling its cotton softness.

It felt like floating on warm, still waters.

Floating, with the sun shining on your face, your body.

It felt like having everything you have ever dreamed of at arm-length.

A dream come to life – that’s what she was.

“Azriel,” Elain whispered against his lips. “I love you.”

And Azriel, pulling away from her just slightly, just so he could see his whole world reflected in her eyes, murmured, “And I love you. My life. My everything.”

Elain smiled, touching his chest. She looked over to the plate of food, “Go ahead, I tried my best.”

“You didn’t have-“ 

“I wanted to,” she told him, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, one arm still draped over his shoulder.

“How did you know?” Azriel mused as he looked at the food.

Elain blushed. “I might’ve gone to Cassian and asked him.”

“Oh?”

She nodded. “I told him to keep it a secret for now, just until you accepted it.”

Silence.

And then they both said, “He’s not going to keep it a secret.”

Azriel choked on a laugh, wrapping his arms around her middle. “Oh.”

Elain shrugged. “He told me it was your favourite.”

“It is.”

Elain pursed her lips, grinning. Then she grabbed the fork placed neatly on the table, and stabbed a piece of meat. She drove it to his lips, “Try it,” she asked.

She watched him as he ate, and Azriel felt like devouring the whole thing.

“Gods, Elain-“

“Is it nice?”

“Gods-better than nice, I-“

He ate the whole thing.

And when Elain asked if he wanted more, Azriel nodded promptly. He ate the whole pot. All the while, he didn’t let go of Elain – even as she tried to move away from him to give him enough space to eat, Azriel clutched her waist and asked her to stay with him.

And so she stayed.

***

Elain

She stayed with his arms wrapped around her, her back against his chest, his chin on her shoulder. She would watch him, delighted, turning her face slightly and forgetting her own food when she’d see the joy written across his face.

Later on, and they were sitting in front of Elain’s fireplace, the fire warming their cheeks, and his arms still wrapped around her frame. She leaned against his chest, turning her head to touch her lips to the underside of his jaw.

She felt him smile – by the way his cheeks lifted, his face transforming completely. He held on to her tighter, as if it was even possible, and they stared at the fire, at the stars, at each other. Slowly, Elain touched his hands and Azriel eased his grip enough for her to turn in his arms. Both her legs parted to wrap around his middle, and she stayed in between his own legs, on the carpeted floor.

“You cannot possibly be comfortable like this,” he said, grinning at her, at her position. Both his hands trailed to her hips, caressing her over her dress, as if they had always belonged there.

“I am,” Elain smiled. “I just wanted to look at you.”

She did.

She could stare at him forever, she decided.

If they would live to see a thousand years – there would never be a time when Elain got tired of the elegant beauty of his face: the straight nose, the sharp jaw, the dark eyes, the sculpted features. The shadows.

And it wasn’t just the fact that Azriel was physically beautiful. Because in the bigger picture – it did not matter to her. Azriel was more than that. Azriel was kind, and he was sweet, and he was brave and he was genuine. He was a soul worth a million stars, a soul that could not possibly be replaced anywhere in the world, not even in her heart.

“What are you thinking?” He whispered to her, closing his eyes at feeling her soft touch on his cheek, her thumb brushing over the corner of his eye.

Elain’s heart skipped a beat when those eyes opened and stared at her.

“I’m thinking…” she began to whisper. Then slowly, she leaned in, eyes closed, and touched her lips to his.

Azriel

Gentle, she was so gentle.

Elain cupped his face as her soft lips descended from his lips to his throat, from his throat to his neck, and then from his neck to his ear. Soft patterns that would be forever marked on his skin and in his mind.

He was breathless.

“…this,” she finalized, smiling against his skin. “I’m thinking this. This is where I want to be – in your arms, for the rest of my life.”

Azriel’s eyes traced every corner of her face when Elain pulled away to look at him. His universe and stars – right there. His whole wide world. The flowers, the sun, the sky. A million colours and more in Elain’s eyes.

His Elain.

“It’s a long life,” he murmured to her, delicately placing a rebellious curl behind her ear.

“Good,” she said to him. “I want to make the best of it.”

Her eyes held the sun. Bright, glinting, brilliant. She smiled, and the sunrays warmed his face.

Azriel chuckled when she placed a playful kiss on his nose. Another on his cupid’s bow. And another between his brows.

He’d dreamed about these tender, playful kisses of hers many times before during lonely nights up in the mountains. He’d pushed them away, time and time again, telling himself that he should try and at least forget the way her hair framed her face, the way her eyes lit up whenever they were together. He told himself, time and time again, that Elain would not look at him the same way. And he told himself, time and time again, that these tender, playful kisses of hers, delicate as flowers, would not, could not, should not, belong to him.

But they did.

Because she was giving them all to him – every single one.

The sun in the brightness of her eyes, the flowers in the delicacy of her kisses. The sky in the freedom of her touch.

He always imagined her touch would feel better than flying. He imagined she felt like soaring high into the sky. The same ecstatic feeling of having the wind caress the inside of his wings. Having her hands cup his cheeks proved him just right.

And then Elain bit her lip.

He caught that gesture with predatory focus.

Azriel stared and stared, until Elain dropped her hands from his cheeks.

And then, slowly, she leaned back.

Azriel observed as Elain let her back rest on the carpet, arms spreading, legs still wrapped around his waist, her skirts crinkled. He watched her chest rise and fall with each breath, her cheeks rosy, her smile inviting.

“Come here,” she beckoned him.

Without another word, feeling absolutely captivated by her, Azriel leaned in, still in between her legs, resting his forearms on either side of her. His eyes then focused on the parting of her lips when he aligned with her, and-

And he did not have the words.

He wanted-

Gods, he wanted. He wanted her.

As if she knew, as if Elain realized the second their bodies touched, her smile widened, a wicked glint passing over them, mixing with playfulness and delight.

How many nights did he spend awake imagining this?

“Azriel,” she whispered to him. “I want your hands on me.”

The words sent heat across his whole abdomen. His blood boiled underneath his skin, that ancient beast – what his kind once was – roaring inside him, encouraging him to take and take and never stop taking. He felt the growl form in his throat and swallowed it down, restraining himself.

“What’s wrong.” She touched his cheek, watching him carefully.

His arms were shaking.

“I want you,” he confessed, letting his forehead touch hers, eyes closing. His voice did not sound like his. “More than you can imagine, Elain. Gods, I’ve wanted you, craved you, for so long.”

Elain cocked her head to the side, thumb touching his bottom lip. “What’s stopping you then?”

How many nights did he spend awake dreaming about her saying those words?

And yet something bit at him.

It was the fact that he wanted her so much. The fact that he had to wrap a good old leash around his neck to stop himself from devouring her, like her eyes are asking him to, like her smile is telling him to. Like her legs, on either side of his waist, thighs pressing into his hips, were signalling him to. Because Elain… 

He wanted every single part of her, but he wanted it slowly. He wanted the time to explore every inch of her. Wanted her to say yes to him before dipping his head between her legs and tasting her.

“I have never been with a man before,” she suddenly said, watching his face. Quickly, she corrected herself, “male.” Her smile turned soft. “I am not afraid of you, Azriel. And you don’t have anything to fear from me. You and I – we were made for each other.”

“I have been waiting for you for decades, Elain,” he smiled, touching his nose to hers. “My flower.”

She kissed him. “I’m here. Have me. I belong with you,” she said, pulling away.

“And I with you.”

“Don’t be scared, Azriel,” she smiled up at him. “The shadows do not frighten me – they never have.”

Azriel smiled down at her, just before leaning in and kissing her.

Elain deepened the kiss, moving her arms to his shoulders.

Before Azriel could get too lost in that kiss, he moved his hands to her back, and flipped them over. Elain giggled against his lips, and kept smiling when Azriel’s sat up with her.

Meeting her eyes, waiting for her nod, Azriel moved his hands to the back of her dress, finding the long zip there, and undoing it. Elain’s lips parted just slightly at feeling the cold poke at her skin. Gently, Azriel slid her dress off her shoulders.

Their eyes stayed on each other. Azriel watched the heat rise in her cheeks.

His gaze travelled down to her bare breasts, and Elain arched her back as Azriel leaned down to take one nipple into his mouth. She took in a breath, head falling to one side. Azriel noticed her eyes falling closed, her lips part, as his tongue swirled on the sensitive skin.

She was so soft. Softer than he’d imagined.

The taste of her skin made him moan against her.

Greedily, he yanked her closer to him, earning a gasp from Elain, before letting his lips close around her other breast.

He felt himself strained in his trousers, as he looked up at her, bare-chested, her skirts around her waist, her curled hair falling over her shoulder and back. He couldn’t get over how good she felt in his arms.

“Your turn,” she said.

Her hands struggled to push off his tunic all the way, and that earned a chuckle from Azriel at seeing the concentrated frown on her face. He let it fall on the ground, and Elain traced each scar with the tip of her finger, and then with her lips. Her tongue darted out to trace his skin, and Azriel breathed a sigh, letting his eyes closed as she explored on her own will.

Before he knew it, they were on her bedroom, her back against the mattress, and Azriel crawling on top of her, pushing her dress off her legs. It tangled in the sheets, and Elain had to squirm out of it. Chuckling, they undressed each other, sharing kisses and gentle touches, letting out gasps and lost breaths.

She was bare in front of him.

Her embarrassment was clear on her face. The way she smiled, the red cheeks, the eyes that were suddenly very interested in the curtains.

“Look at me,” he pleaded, gently turning her chin to him. “I am in awe of you.”

Elain looked down, eyelashes kissing her cheeks, and smiled.

Azriel kissed the corner of her mouth, then the other, and his wings lowered. Elain watched them, the warmth that radiated off them making her body tingle. It was almost a shelter, a kind of safe haven that he’d created for her.

Only for her.

Azriel kissed her all over.

Not one piece of her body was left unloved. But he saved the best for last.

Elain squirmed in both impatience and nervousness when his lips made contact with the inside of her thigh.

“Keep still for me,” he grinned between her legs, watching her bite her lip.

“I can’t,” she whispered, breathless.

She proved exactly that when Azriel’s teeth grazed that same spot, her body jolting, hips rising off the mattress.

Azriel smiled, laughing softly between her spread legs. His shadows danced around them, playful and wicked.

“Please,” she begged, fingers digging into his hair. “Azriel, please.”

Her body trembled with anticipation. He’d been kissing her for hours. Teasing her, making her body sing, letting her want him for too long.

But Azriel found that he was starving again.

So he dipped his head.

Elain

She had expected him to simply kiss her.

She had never expected him to lick a stripe up to her most sensible part, leaving her legs shaking on either side of him, leaving her gasping and seeing black dots dancing across her vision.

As if he’d been expecting her hips to move, Azriel dug his fingers into her skin, pushing her down onto the mattress, while his face was still buried between her legs.

She saw colours flying past her eyes as his tongue moved on her.

And Elain did not know if she whispered for him to give her everything. But he did.

He left her wrecked to the last lick of his tongue.

When his lips left her thighs, his teeth were leaving loving marks on her neck and breasts, making her exhausted body sing for more. He was hot and ready against her thigh, but when Elain tried to reach for him, Azriel touched her hand and pinned it next to her head.

His soft laugh echoed inside her. “Not now, my flower.”

“I need to touch you,” she begged. Her impatience was clear, and Elain tried to push it down, but-

She found she couldn’t. She found she could not contain the words out of her mouth, for her instincts seemed to kick in whenever he touched her, making it near-impossible to compose herself.

Azriel’s lips were underneath her jaw. 

Enough. Her body needed another release.

Taking advantage of his distraction, Elain lifted a hand and traced the underside of his wing. She felt Azriel’s lips still on her skin, his body going taut.

“How did you-“

“They’re sensible,” Elain grinned, triumph shining on her face as Azriel let out a moan against her neck. “You fold them everytime I come close. Like you’ll come undone if I touch them.”

She leaned in and kissed the spot she traced.

Azriel’s wing trembled, his whole body trembled.

“Observant,” he groaned.

Elain smiled, wrapping her legs around his waist. She couldn’t help the moan that escaped her at feeling him against her, hard and soft and scalding.

The burn when Azriel’s moved his hips against hers wasn’t unpleasant. Unusual. But not unpleasant. His lips touched hers, muffling a moan as he moved, then stopped. Slow, gentle movements that she could get used to.

But moments after, Elain was clinging to him, whispering his name in his ear as Azriel’s teeth grazed her shoulder, his groans matching his thrusts.

And she was so close to falling off the edge when Azriel stopped, and lifted himself up on his knees, still inside her.

Breathless, she looked up at him.

And noticed him watching her.

His hands slid down her ribs to rest on her hips. His face was flushed, jaw tense, eyes bright. She was so close.

“I want to watch you,” he murmured, chest gleaming with sweat. “When you unravel, I want to watch you.”

With that, a thrust, and a moan, and a thrust, and Elain throwing her head back, biting her lip.

She felt his eyes on her, but it only made her want to burn more.

His thrusts hardened, movements slow, steady. Until Elain could no longer take it.

Her whole body tightened before going limp in his arms. Her legs shook and trembled as Azriel gave his last thrust, and she felt the warmth of him leave her. His body was against hers not a second later, wings and arms enveloping her.

Her eyes were still closed, her body heavy as Azriel pulled her against his chest. One wing draped over her body, warming her, a hand on her cheek, making her look at him.

“Hi,” he murmured.

Elain smiled tiredly, happily, “Hi, you.”

“Good?”

“Never better.”

She snuggled into his arms, letting his lips touch her forehead. She felt like she could sleep for the rest of her life, but she wanted to keep looking at him, she wanted-

“Sleep, my love.”

Her smile was lazy, eyes struggling to stay opened. “I will sleep for days now.”

And again – that soft, midnight laughter against her ear, his chest reverberating with the sound. “I will stay until you wake.”

“And after that?”

“Always. If you want me for that long.”

“I will want you forever, Azriel,” she said, letting her head fall on his arm, body soothed by his gentle touches, by the warmth of his wings and shadows around her.

Against every odd – forever was reserved for them.

“Sleep, flower,” he whispered against her. “My beautiful Elain.”

The last thing she heard was him telling her that he loved her. And Elain opened her mouth to whisper it too, although the words slurred slightly. She kissed him goodnight, and the last thing she saw right after his smiling face, was the stars that glimmered outside, through the window right behind him.

Elain fell asleep, thinking that, after all, the stars knew nothing.

Everything that seemed to matter fell away when she felt Azriel fall asleep right beside her.

It was just her and him, now.

Just her and him.

And a whole universe of stars that looked down on them, glimmering as if in disapproval.

But as far as Elain knew - the stars did not know a thing.

Not a thing.

And as she pulled him closer, the one she chose, the one her heart sang to, Elain did not care that they did not approve.

She dared them - dared those stars to try and tear her and Azriel apart. Dared anyone. Anything.

She would challenge them all. They - together - would challenge them all.


End file.
